Red vs Blue: Truth or Dare
by Twitchy the Pyro
Summary: Another T&D fic made by me. Give the dares to RVB characters and watch me and my co-writer make them do it in the most sadistic way possible. NO DARING ME! We're only here to make the characters suffer. Poor Griff.
1. Chapter 1

Emo: Alright guys, you know how my Zelda Truth or Dare vanished, right

**Emo: Alright guys, you know how my Zelda Truth or Dare vanished, right?**

**Griff: Good riddance to that Dark Link guy.**

**Emo: He's better than you.**

**Griff: Whatever.**

**Emo: Donut! Initiate Trigger-Simmons Plan 11!**

**Donut: -shoots Griff in the face-**

**Sarge: That's my line!**

**Emo: Get over it.**

**Sarge: What?!**

**Emo: Hey buddy, I have access to Red Army Air Force. You wanna be in the middle of a nuclear explosion?**

**Sarge: Do I get a funeral?**

**Emo: No.**

**Sarge: Fine.**

**Emo: Anyways guys, send your truths and dares to make these guys do something stupid, Red and Blue alike. And at the end of every chapter, I'll post a moment from the Red vs. Blue series. I'll appreciate all dares!**

**Risu: What about me?**

**Emo: I was getting to that. Guys, don't give me or Risu dares. Like the last Truth or Dare thing, we both got uncomfortable with everything those guys sent us. And no, I didn't delete it, it vanished… somehow… oh well…**

A/N: Thank you for those who give these guys dares.


	2. Chapter 2

**Emo: Time for the start of a good day.**

**Risu: I agree.**

**Emo: Come on, let's take the ship and see if they're ready.**

_I'm in._

Tex, you have to make love to Church...here and now.

Church, same, only backwards.

Tucker, you have to kiss Caboose.

Caboose, you have to kill Tucker.

Red Guys: Got nothing for you guys yet...be fortunate.

_The King SSJ5_

**Emo: Oh this should be fun.**

**Tex: I'm not kissing him.**

**Church: And I'm not kissing her.**

**Emo: Risu, get the shotgun.**

**Risu: Sure. –walks over to Sarge-**

**Sarge: Hey what are you- -BLAM!-**

**Simmons: Sarge, the back of your head!**

**Sarge: Ugh…**

**Risu: Here you go.**

**Emo: Thank you. –cocks gun- Make love to each other… now!**

**Tex: Can I do something afterwards?**

**Emo: I'll pay you ten dollars if you rip Grif's arm off.**

**Tex: Sure.**

**Church: Wait, what about me?**

**Risu: What about you?**

**Church: Don't I get anything.**

**Emo: Yeah, aiming lessons. –cocks gun again- from me…**

**Church: Fine. –He and Tex go into room and lock the door-**

**Caboose: -looks through keyhole- Look Tucker!**

**Tucker:… Bow Chicka Bow Wow!**

**Emo: Shut up! Oh, here's your dare.**

**Tucker: What?! (bleep) No!**

**Risu: You know you want to.**

**Tucker: No!**

**Emo: Risu…**

**Risu: -hands him soiled milk-**

**Tucker: Alright! –slowly leans towards Caboose, then pecks him on the cheek- ARGH!**

**Emo: There, was that too hard?**

**Tucker: Yes!**

**Emo: Oh well.**

**Caboose: That seems kind of mean. I don't know if I should do that. That would be cruel.**

**Risu: Oh come on Caboose. I thought you hated him. And if you do it, Church will be your best friend.**

**Caboose: He will?**

**Emo: He will?**

**Church: … I will?**

**Risu: Yep.**

**Caboose: Hmm… ooh, let me have a warhammer.**

**Emo: -hands him warhammer-**

**Caboose: Die! –bashes Tucker violently-**

**Tucker: This isn't fair!**

**Emo: All is fair in love and war…**

**Caboose: And this is love!**

**Risu: Aw… he loves you to death Tucker…**

**Tucker: (bleep) you!**

_Honestly, I think Sarge has to pay for his transgressions in the 1st chapter._

Sarge Dares:

1. Have Sarge be nice to Grif.  
2. Make sure that Sarge cannot engage in any military related activities for an entire day.  
3. Make Sarge let Donut have control of the base for that day.  
4. Every time Simmons provides an ass-kissing, it must be met with a swift shotgun butt to the face.(a.k.a Mean to Simmons Day)  
5.Make him sign a peace treaty with the Blues.  
6.Make Sarge listen to Lopez's singing on the Radio.

Oh well, that's all I can think of.  
Keep up the good work you two, and I hope your story goes on pretty well.

_KinohaShinobi_

**Sarge: What?!**

**Grif: Hm… Hey Sarge! I hate you! I want you to die!**

**Sarge: Excuse me? Insubordination!!**

**Emo: Sarge!**

**Sarge:… oh, right… (crap)**

**Simmons: Hey Sarge! I'm going to Red Homecoming!**

**Sarge: I don't wanna hear about your relationship affairs Simmons! Just do your work until you leave. –looks around quickly- Simmons! I need your help. Those dirty freelancers are keeping me from doing anything I love to do. I need you to smuggle me to the dance.**

**Simmons: There's a snag sir.**

**Sarge: Oh?**

**Simmons: Yes. It's a military dance.**

**Sarge: Please?**

**Donut: Hey Sarge!**

**Sarge: Hide me!**

**Donut: Simmons? Have you seen Sarge?**

**Sarge: Just take control of the base for a day already!**

**Donut: Aw… sum. How about I make it pink base?**

**Sarge: This is terrible! I don't wanna wear pink!**

**-later that day-**

**Sarge: -Shoots several Wyoming clones- Yee-haw!**

**Simmons: Excellent shot sir!**

**Sarge: Excuse me?! –BLAM- Take that!**

**Simmons: Ow! I was just-**

**Sarge: Shut up!! –Blam-**

**Emo: Now sign the peace treaty.**

**Sarge & Church: No!**

**Flowers: I thought I was Blue Captain.**

**Risu: -blasts Flowers in the face- Not anymore.**

**Sarge: -hands trembles while holding pen-**

**Church: Oh get it over with!**

**Sarge: Grif, you're fired! –signs treaty-**

**Grif: Seriously? Awesome! Wait, why?**

**Blues: -corners Grif-**

**Sarge: The blues can't harm red army members, so that means they can mutilate you! Hahahaha!!**

**Emo: Uh… you just failed by being mean to Grif.**

**Sarge: What? I'm not. The blues are! See?**

**Grif: Ow! Mother (bleep)! This hurts!! (bleep)**

**Risu: Oh Sarge! –turns on radio and tunes it to the Spanish channel-**

**Sarge: Is that Lopez?**

**Lopez: -raps in Spanish in monotone-**

**Sarge: Oh god! –blows up radio-**

_"My dear authors Emo and Risu, before we start(snaps fingers and a bunch of weird looking ankle shackles appear on the Reds and Blues)every time you lie or fail to do a dare, these shackles will deliver five-hundred thousand volts of electricity through body for about ten seconds. And don't bother trying to break them off, because it will set off the fifty megaton nukes inside them if you try to."_

"Okay, with that out of the way, here are my dares and or truths."

"Caboose, I dare you and your crazy runaway tank Sheila to not kill Church for an entire day."

"Church, I dare you to not be a jackass for one day."

"Tucker, I dare you to not say Bow Chicka Bow Wow for an entire day.

"Tex, I dare you to not try killing anyone for an enitre day."

"Simmons, how do you really feel about your team mates?"

"Grif, why are you always so lazy?"

"Donut, (pulls out a can of spray paint) I dare you to spray paint your armor blue and make Sarge think your a blue."

"Sarge, how do handle all of the insanity that is Blood Gulch Outpost Number One?"

"One Minor note, I apologize if I made this a little long or wrote something you didn't like, I somethimes get a little carried away with these types of fics.

_Sniper-experiment-5-1-0-Alpha_

**Caboose: -gets in Sheila-**

**Tucker: Hey Caboose! Press the lock-on button!**

**Caboose: Okay! –fires, killing Tucker-**

**Tucker: Son of a (bleep)!**

**Church: That's gonna be hard.**

**Emo: You're soooo confident.**

**Church: You know wha…. You know what? You're right. I'm obviously so unconfident that I don't think I can do this.**

**Grif: Nice save.**

**Church: Thanks Red.**

**Grif:… discrimination.**

**Sister: Hey, Tucker. Um… I don't know how to say this but…**

**Emo: -at hill with sniper rifle-**

**Sister: Can we, like, go out, or, something?**

**Tucker: Bow Chicka Bow –blam!- ow!**

**Emo: Follow the dare!**

**Tucker: You know what?! Bow.**

**Emo: Don't!**

**Tucker: Chicka.**

**Emo: I'm warning you!**

**Tucker: Bow.**

**Risu: Here it comes. –covers ears-**

**Tucker: Wow. –ankle shackle zaps him- AAGGGHHHIIIIEEEE!!**

**Tex: I think I can do that.**

**Church: Are you sure?**

**Tex: Shut up, (bleep)hole!**

**Church: Oh ear, someone's getting angry.**

**Tex: Screw the shackle. DIE!!**

**Church: Holy (bleep)! OW!**

**Tex: -shackle zaps, crackles, then dies out-**

**Emo: huh?**

**Risu: It broke.**

**Emo: That's insane…**

**Simmons: Well, that's good question. I think Grif can work if he puts his mind to it. And ever since O'Malley, I always thought Sarge was a cock-sucker.**

**Grif: So true.**

**Sarge: Insubordination!**

**Risu: Oh give it a rest!**

**Sarge: Fine…**

**Grif: Well, almost everything takes work. I hate work. And maybe if I'm lazy enough, maybe Red Command will let me retire sooner.**

**Vic Jr.: Dude, we're not helping you dude.**

**Grif: Oh shut up Vic!**

**Sarge: That's my job.**

**Donut: Do I have to? I like whitish-red.**

**Sarge: Hey Barbie.**

**Donut: Dude! It's whitish-red!! Fine… -sprays himself blue- Hey Sarge.**

**Sarge: Whatever you want Donut, I don't have time for it!**

**Simmons: -comes in- Sarge! Blue!**

**Sarge: What are you- Holy Crap! –jumps on Donut and whacks him repeatedly-**

**Donut: Ow! Ow! Dude, that hurt!**

**Sarge: Well, to be honest. I don't! Haha! I leave that to Simmons! And if anything goes wrong, I blame Grif!**

**Vic: Dude, that's wrong.**

**Sarge: Shut up! Traitor! –kaboom!-**

Emo: This was really fun to write. If you like anime as well, and insanity amongst characters, search Across the Sky. Believe it or not, that's Risu, and she makes Fullmetal Alchemist T&D, and Twilight-lovers, she has one for that. Yes, I'm a Twilight lover.

Risu: Thanks for reading by the way.

Emo: Yes, and if you can't think of dares, at least review and tell me if I should keep up with this.

Thank you all for reading!!


End file.
